They Don't Always Bear Fruit.

A canopy of ivory blossoms
Cascade over my head
The fragrances of spring fill the air
I walk along the petal strewn path
Alone with my thoughts
Breathe in
Step
My worries overwhelm me
Step
Breathe out
Step
A woman passes by
Jogging along
Pushing a sports utility stroller.
Inside--a cherry cheeked infant
Sleeps Soundly
Lovingly tucked beneath a blanket.
Step
Step
Stare
I want to believe
It is impossible to be angry at God
Breathe in
While walking in the beauty
Step Step
He Has created
Breathe out
But jealousy bubbles up within me--
My bitterness like bile in my throat.
Tears fall
my pace quickens
Stepstepstepstep
I just want to get home
Step step
I just want to fall into bed
Breathebreathebreathe
I just want to cry out
Stop!
I look up at the canopy of white
And glimpse the patches of blue in the negative space
I cry.
Step
Slowly I turn and watch the woman jog down the road
Stroller ahead of her
Until I no longer see mother and child.
A blossom falls from heaven
Onto my head
I pull it out of my hair
And touch the silken petals
The anthers deposit pollen onto my finger
I drop the bloom onto the ground
Step
Step step
Breathe in
Breathe out
Stop
I look down and see
the flattened blossoms
paving the sidewalk
and feel empty
even more barren
than I did before.
Breathe in
Breathe out
I just want to go home.
I just want to fall into bed
I just want
Too much.
I want too much
I want more than my body
Can give.
Breathe in.
I just want to go home.
Away from the ivory blooms
Away from the mommies and strollers
Away from spring
Away from renewal
Away from reminders of
What could have been.
Step.
I think on it all on the way home.
Step.
Breathe in
People constantly tell me we have our
Step.
Crosses to bear
Breathe out
Enough.
I don’t want to hear it anymore.
Step.
Breathe in.
Home.

Wishing & Hoping...

I’ve hoped for the day
I’ve wished for the day
I would find the day
I could understand it all.

The closer I get
The faster it runs from me.

Together maybe we can stalk it.
Together maybe we can catch it.
Together maybe we can hold it.

Better.

I am no better than any other man;
I am a better person because of other people.

Each friendship
Each kindness
Each loving gesture
Each act of altruism
Each moment of compassion

teaches
my heart
directs
my vision
enriches
my soul
opens
my mind
deepens
my understanding
betters
my life

I am no better than any other man;
I am a better person because of other people.

At The Death of an Actor.

An actor lives only once in this world of ours
But characters live and die forever more.
How many times will Hamlet die
Throughout eternity?

With the passing of an actor
Entire worlds go with him,
He takes Hamlet,
Romeo,
And Caesar, too.

When she breathes her last,
Ophelia ceases to be.
Ismene, Medea, Blanche DuBois and
Sally Bowles die, too.

Entire Civilizations have fallen
With the loss of each cast—
Only to be revived once more
By another actor
Another cast,
At another time.

Another world is created—
Not quite the same as the last, but
It is familiar, still.
Once again Othello lives
To kill his Desdemona.
Juliet takes her life once more
When she sees her Romeo dead—
Life becomes a Cabaret again,
And The Iceman (Continues to) Cometh.
We patiently Wait for Godot,
While we hear A Little Night Music.

We laugh again,
We cry again,
We remember tragedy
We remember joy.

Until at last
Our hearts break once more.

Another actor dies--
Taking with him creation--
Taking with her creation.

The worlds he made
The worlds she made.
The lives she created
The lives he created
Will
Now
Sleep
Eternally
In peace.

I Know A Place (Where The Wild Things Are)

The final song from Where The Wild Things Are. Written in 2001.


I Know A Place…
Lyrics by: Melissa C. G. Alvarez

I know a place
Through the night, across the rolling sea,
Over distant lands,
Beyond the forests of green,

I know a place
Real far away,
A place I have seen
A place I long to be

Where there are rules,
Where there is a bed,
Where the food smells good,
Where the wild thing's aren't.

There is a place
real far away,
a place I know,
a place I have seen
A place I long to be

Smell the good smells of food...
from far away,
where the wild things aren't,
where I want to be...

There is a place
real far away,
a place I know,
a place I have seen
A place I long to be
where some one loves me best of all...

My World Untamed

This is originally from the musical adaptation of Where The Wild Things Are that I helped write in 2001-2002.


Where the Wild Things Are

My World Untamed
Lyrics by Melissa Alvarez


I’m stuck here in my room
With nothin’ to do an’ nowhere to go
now…if only an idea would bloom…
That’s it! Let my thoughts grow!

(To self)
Let this be my world untamed…

In a far-off place I can go
Where I can dance showered in moonbeams
To a place that only I know
Away from here, away from her…beyond my dreams

Yes! Let thoughts run wild. No limits, no fences, no walls!
Let the vines creep and hang; Let the trees root and tower
Let wild grass take over; let it all be filled with stuff that crawls!
Let all kneel and cower…
All of this in my world untamed.

Here in my room, no my world…
Let an ocean swell, let the birds fly high
Freedom and beauty unfurled
All of it possible if only you’ll try…
In my world untamed.

Now I know…
That’s where I’ll be.
That’s where I’ll go…
I’ll be free.
I’m my world untamed.

Mirror Mirror. 2.5.09

Sliver gleaming
The eyes
Looking back at me
The face
So like mine
A shell
Of what once was
She mimics my movement
The strokes
One
Two three
Four
Five
Of brushing
The graying hair
She puts the brush down
And peers deeper
Beyond
The cracks
And canyons
Understanding
My surprise
My sorrow
Of realization
We acknowledge
Eachother
In silent
Nods
She is all that remains
Reminding me
Of what I once was
And what I am
Now.