Your eerie stillness
The peaceful urgency
your eyes speak--
Distracts us from the
Mortification the
Sheer terror
Chills to the bone
Hurricane anger
Terrified winds
Raging beneath the calm
Smile you show.
Immediately
there are
Prayers recited
Silent pleading to Heaven
To God
The Father above
To grant us a miracle
To spare you pain
To spare you this challenge
To spare us the pain
To spare us this challenge
Selfish? Perhaps.
But maybe we just don’t know
Any other way
To deal with the news;
To face this monster—
Who threatens to break up
Yet another happy home;
And threatens to crack
Our foundation, yet again.
I talked to her yesterday afternoon.
I can hear the panic in her voice
As she tells me she’s calm.
As she assures me time and again
that she’s fine.
Deep down I know she isn’t
Though I don’t dare say so.
Deep down I know she’s coming undone.
So I change the subject before she cries again
And we talk about my little sister,
who isn’t as little as she used to be.
Yes, she’s in high school now.
I know time has flown.
It slipped right past us, before I even realized it was there.
The conversation inevitably returns to the dreaded subject
And I hear her voice crack a little.
The thought of anything taking you from her
Sends her reeling
I offer my ear for her to vent
Or cry or scream
I offer a meal or two and maybe a shopping break
To ease her mind…
she thanks me
And changes the subject again.
Wasn’t it just a week ago,
Christmas Day
Where we gathered and gifted
And laughed and ate
Until we were full
Until we swore we would burst
If we took another bite
of Aunt Ellen's Divine Peppermint Angel food cake…
When the cares of the world were nowhere to be found?
Or so we thought.
How could we have known the trouble was in the room with us?
It never fails to surprise me
This gift of life.
One moment nothing is amiss
Then
Before you can catch your breath between laughs
Something as ordinary as a trip to the doctor
Turns into your life into your very own personal hell.
It is in how you react to the situation, I suppose…
And in what lesson(s) you learn…
I’ve learned this so far:
Having Friends and Family is a blessing and a curse.
A blessing because we laugh together.
A blessed curse because in order to laugh together we have to risk suffering together, too.
Things go wrong.
Things go right.
Prayers and hope are powerful.
Miracles happen when you least expect them,
Tho’ the same can be said for tragedies.
Peacefulness and calm can be found in the strangest places,
Like doctor’s offices and bathrooms.
Anger can be found in strange places, too…
Like Church and the supermarket.
God is everywhere you allow Him to be.
Things we think are being taken from us are only being refined
And tempered…and being made better than they were before.
Faith is easily broken or led astray—all it takes is one unkind word or work.
Even if what you want most in the world isn’t given to you
It does not mean you weren’t given what you needed most.
No matter what, life will keep moving onward.
With me, without me…With you, without you.
We just have to trust that everything will turn out OK.
Now.
Here we are
Propping each other up
As best we can.
There you are digesting the news
We see you.
Silent. Nodding.
You smile.
It makes us feel better.
Now
We’re
Ready for the battle.
Without question.
Now
We’re ready.
