How to Get Out of an AWFUL Date. (Date Balls)

I actually wrote a variation on this a LOOOOOOONG time ago. No.
I am NOT pregnant. I was just sitting around trying to write and this is what came out.

Again...I.AM.NOT.PREGNANT.

I've always laughed at the thought of lame first dates. I used to conjure up visions of how to escape that AWFUL first date if I really didn't like the guy...which got me to thinking...

"Hmmm. What would scare off some guy I barely knew?" The result is below.


How to Get Out of an AWFUL Date.

Will it be

Katie, Kelly, Cathy or Megan?

Julie, Jenn, Jenny, Gina or Anne?

Maggie, Meggie, Molly, or Sam?

Annie, Sunny, Dolly, Dawn?

Dana, Daria, Delia, or Sue?

Antonia.

Angela.

Zelda?

Imelda

Danielle

Dusty

Shannon

Regina or Jenn. I said that already.

Ellen, Andrea, Amy!

Amie? Aimee? Aymee?

Sheesh.

Jana, Joni, Gini, oh my.

Why do I even bother to try?

Oh. MY!

What if it's a Joseph, Joey or a Joe?!

John, Jack, Johnny or Jake?

Jim, James, Jesus?

…Jeez.

Mike, Michael,

Matthew, Morticai?

Gene? Justin? Jimmy?

Vinny? Frankie? Danny, Denny

Now I'm hungry. Denny's. Pancakes sound good…

Jeff, Jeffery, Jeffrey, Josh, Jonah.

Al. Alex. Alexander. Alejandro…Xander?

That's it. I've got it.

We'll name it after you.

What's your name again?


Recipe: Date Balls. (Adapted from AZ cookbook, 1st edition. 1983)

I haven't had these in years...pretty good and easy to make.

8oz Dates, pitted and chopped.
1/2 cup seedless raisins
1 cup chopped walnuts
45 vanilla wafers-crushed finely
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
1/4 cup of brandy (yum!)
2 tbsp. Karo White Corn syrup
flaked coconut (optional)

Combine all ingredients EXCEPT coconut. Roll into balls. Roll balls in coconut until well coated (unless you hate coconut...in which case, don't roll the balls in coconut.) (makes about 45 date balls).