The desperation
overwhelms her calm voice
I can smell it
I can feel it
The dank
darkness
boa constrictor squeeze of it
choking the air
choking the life out of them
I feel it.
Even over the phone
As a child
Even the worst times
Were never this bleak
We made games of the poverty
Because we were too young to understand
The seriousness of the situations
Grown up,
The games are no fun
We've figured it all out.
Dad's checks shrink every week
Mom's worries grow instead
Three thousand miles
Separate us
Light years
Class separates now
I'm building the bridge as fast as I can
Tying, knotting the sheets to toss across to you.
The chasm continues to widen
I've run out of twine
I've run out of sheets
I've run out of life preservers to throw.
My arms can't reach you
No matter how far I stretch out in front of me…
All I can do is stand here
Looking at you over there
The canyon widens
The chasm deepens
You drift farther away
I watch until the dot I know to be you
Disappears
Alone,
I weep because I don't know what else to do.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I love you.
I'm sorry.
Recipe: Mexican Pizza
I grew up pretty poor. As a result, we didn't always have a whole lot to eat and we had to be pretty creative sometimes. As the oldest, it was my job to look after my brother and sisters once we got home from school and our parents were at work. I'd make this snack for them after we got home.
1 large tortilla for each person.
1 can of tomato sauce
some pizza seasoning (or dried oregano, if that is all you have)
cheddar cheese (or gov't cheese if that is all you have)
Heat up a comal (cast iron griddle) or a pan on medium heat.
Put tortilla on the comal/pan.
using a tablespoon, scoop some tomato sauce onto the tortilla and spread around, like you would if you were making a real pizza.
sprinkle some cheese over the sauce.
sprinkle with dried oregano.
cook until the tortilla is stiffly toasted. Watch it carefully, as the "pizza" may burn if you aren't paying attention.
Repeat as necessary.
Eat.
Yum.
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